There is a part of the story “To Kill A Mockingbird” where the maid/cook Calpernia, of the Finch family, has sole charge of Scout and Jem while their father is out of town.
The children accompany Calpernia to her church for the first time, and the children notice, her speech changes drastically.
Walking home from the services, the children are shocked that Calpernia is older than their father, that she is educated where most of the other black church congregants are illiterate, and that she literally seemed to have a double life they didn’t know about.
White folks are funny that way.
We know EVERYTHING about them.
But we can still seem mysterious and leading a life they sometimes resent us for not disclosing.
When some people don’t realize the double standards they’ve set up for us, that’s how you know they aren’t really interested in knowing us all that well at all.